I really wish I could teach the cat to tell time. It would just make things SO much easier. Instead of running in to the kitchen every time one of us gets up from the couch, he could just look at the clock, and be all "Oh, I've still got 15 more minutes until I get food again. I'll just sit here on the back of the couch then."
And while I know this will never happen, there's a small part of my brain that thinks, "Maybe?" Hell, he fetches like nobody's business, and he knows where we hide his fetching mice. The boy-fiance just carried him over to his drawer where we keep the mice, opened it, lowered him down and said "Pick out a mouse!" And the cat? He paused for a moment, looked at the half dozen grey and white mice lying there and then grabbed one with his mouth. The proceeded to play a game of fetch in the bedroom, and when the kitteh tired of that? He brought the mouse out for me to throw it for him.
Okay, so even if he never learns to tell time, I think we might need to tell people we have a dog instead of a cat.