You Know What Happens When You Assume?
April 04, 2013

Went for a walk in my dad's neighborhood and there's blossoms everywhere! Blossoms!

It's late and I should probably go to sleep, but I have some FEELINGS right now that I am compelled to write down. Lucky you!

First, keep these three things in mind when you read below about a little interaction I had today:
1. I got married about 6 months ago.
2. I've lost 30lbs over the past 16 months, but I've still got a little bit of a belly.
3. Today, I decided to wear a dress that's become a little bit too big for me.

Someone, who I do not know all that well (but who knew about #1 up there), saw me and said "Oh, Congratulations!" and I responded with, "Huh? What?" and then both of us looked at each other with a collective, "Oh..."

Someone assumed I was pregnant. And they were wrong. So very wrong.

I sincerely hope that the next thing I write down isn't something that I need to tell you, but I'm going to put it here anyways: Never, ever, ever, ever, and one more for good measure, EVER assume someone is pregnant. EVER. Because there's a 50% chance you're going to be wrong, and if you are? Both parties involved end up feeling pretty bad.

I could go into all the reasons why it's a bad idea, but it should be obvious, right? And I know that when this happens, it's usually because people are happy and excited for you. The intention is good. But you have no idea what's going on with that person, so why would you assume something so personal about a stranger or someone you don't know very well?

And I mention the stranger scenario because, you guys, this is the SECOND time this has happened to me in the past few months. When I was 30lbs heavier, nobody seemed to think I was pregnant. Lose 30lbs? Strangers waiting for their food at In-N-Out Burger want to know what you're having, and they're not asking about your to-go order.

When it happened today, it was someone who assumed that because I recently got married and she saw a little tummy bulge under my baggy dress, well, that must mean there's a baby on the way! Because why would I get married unless I'm going to have babies? (I know the sarcasm might not be coming through on that last one, but believe me, it's there.) The person who made a wrong assumption today did apologize, and I understand how she arrived at the assumption, which sort of made it less hurtful than it might have been.

And I guess maybe I've reached a point in this weight loss journey where I don't necessarily look that overweight, but because there's still a bit of tummy, the pregnancy assumption is easy to make? But why even take that risk? Why would someone's brain think "pregnant!" and then also feel the need to voice that out loud without actually knowing? I just don't know.

The one thing I do know? I never have and never will assume someone is pregnant, ever. Also, I think that dress I wore today is either going to a tailor or the donate pile.



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© Whitney Brandt-Hiatt: All writing, images, and photogrpahy are the property of Whitney Brandt-Hiatt unless otherwise noted.