I cut my finger the other night while I was preparing dinner.
But not on a knife. I had been looking for a knife, in a box I had packed and labeled 'cutlery'. I even wrapped each and every piece of cutlery I put in the box. But the blades to my food processor? I just threw those in there. No wrapping. No nothing. Because there's no way I'd just go blindly sticking my hand in a box full of cutlery to find a knife. THAT WOULD BE DUMB.
So I'm searching for a bandage in the bathroom, and I discover that all I have are SpongeBob SquarePants and Lucky Monkey bandages.
Apparently I am 30, going on 12.