To the rather expensive coat I ordered this morning:
I love you, but in the back of my head, I know you will either be ill fitting or look terrible on me. I had to find out for sure though. It will pain me to return you, but undoubtedly, I will. I'm already sad and you haven't even arrived yet.
To the brown cable knit sweater I decided to wear today:
You are the worst sweater EVER. I cannot deny that you are soft and cozy, but this incessant shedding thing has got to STOP! It appears that I have been rubbing my arms all over my legs today. However, I assure you, I have not been rubbing my arms all over my legs today.
To the large jar of jelly beans sitting on my desk:
I love you, also. Perhaps too much. I wish you would leap into the trash when I walk away from my desk. That way I won't even realize you're gone. But perhaps I should eat just one more first...
I've been grumpy and irritable all day, and I'm not entirely sure why. Possibly lack of sleep, and definitely too much sugar. I think the only cure right now is some retail therapy at Target. I need to go there anyways, but now I'll feel less guilty about wandering through the clothing and jewelry section.